Becoming a Mom was an elusive dream for Angeline for 9 long years. In 2008, God opened her womb and blessed her with an adorable baby girl who became the greatest source of pride and joy in her life. In her blog ‘PrincessDanaDiaries‘, Angie and her husband, Dave document the challenges and rewards they experience from a DINKY (Double-Income No Kids Yet) couple to a family unit whose home is filled with blessings overflowing and whose lives now have taken on a higher purpose. As a working Mom, Angie has her fair share of hair-pulling days but she has since discovered some simple tips to keep herself afloat. Read on and be inspired!

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When Dana was born in 2008, we juggled parenting duties and work demands without any live-in help. My Mom-in-law resides in Penang and she’s enjoying her retirement so it’s impractical to make her relocate down to Singapore to be a caregiver. My own Mom is committed to taking care of my nephew so we were all on our own. After exhausting all possible options, we decided to place Dana in an Infant Care Centre about 20 mins’ drive from our home. She was barely 4 months old then. Every morning, we would set off from our home at 6.45am when the sky was still pitch dark. I would scoop my baby from her slumber, put her gingerly into my Ergo carrier, hop into the family car and Daddy would drop us at the Infant Care Center before he head to work. While we waited for the Infant Care Centre to be opened, I hugged Dana close to my bosom. We would pray, talk and sing to God as the first light of day breaks through and chased away all gloomy thoughts.

Leaving her in infantcare was one of the toughest decisions we had to make…

At 7.30am, I would kiss Dana a reluctant goodbye and make my way to a bus-stop 10 mins away to wait for company transport to bring me to office. In the evenings, the hubs would pick Dana up from the Infant Care Center at 6.30pm then come for me. We would adjourn somewhere (often jostling with the crowd) for dinner on our way home. We tried catering tingkat dinner for a few months and abandoned the plan. It is not uncommon for us to arrive home after 9pm, by then it’s time for Dana’s bedtime routine. I would bathe her, Daddy would read and we would tuck her into bed together with a lullaby and bedtime prayer. Like all parents, we put the needs of our children above our own, even if it means not hitting the bed till way past midnight. Looking back, I wondered how we survived those early years if not for the mercy of God. The unusually challenging periods were when Dana caught nasty bugs from her friends in the Infant Care (e.g. bronchiolitis, flu, fever). On those days, David and I would take turns to go on childcare leave to nurse her back to health. In this regard, we wish the government would grant parents (especially those without home support) more childcare leave on medical grounds as a bout of illness usually take few days to break.

Enjoying her days in Infantcare…

At 18 months, Dana was promoted to the childcare section. Things became slightly easier as she was more mobile and independent but our struggles for credible help didn’t stop there. In order to devote more quality time to the child, we started hiring live-in domestic help.  However, many Singaporean families can attest that responsible helpers are far and few between. Till this day (4 years later), we have changed 6 helpers and still counting. Many days, it is an enormous source of stress to maintain the household, excel in mothering duties as well as not to let slip of our obligations towards our careers. At times when I feel I’m up against a mountain of exasperation, I turn to the hubs for his support and to our God for His grace to sustain us. Every household is different, and every mom has different standards about how to upkeep a home.

For us, we live by these 3 Principles:

• Roping in Dana to help with small tasks. Sometimes it may seem easier to do everything ourselves so it will be done exactly the way we want. But it’s good to involve children to keep the house clean and neat. It will teach them the importance of responsibility, ownership and empathy. The survival skills and beneficial habits they picked up will last a lifetime. Dana enjoys little responsibilities like helping to hang her handkerchiefs/towels and placing her cups in the kitchen sinks. I’m now training her to bathe on her own too!

• Divide and Conquer (or if need be, Outsource). If both husband and wife are working (like we do), we’ll both be tired — so it’s only fair that we should share the work that needs to be done around the house. Let each other decide who will be responsible for which duty. Before we hired a maid, David helped with the ironing while I basically took care of the baby and other family routines. We also engaged a part-time helper who came every Saturday morning to give the home a good scrub.

• Quit being a (OCD) Perfectionist. I like my home to be immaculate but I had to adjust my expectations and learn to live with a bit of ‘organized mess’ after the baby came. As David puts it, he would rather have a messy but happy home than a spotless one with a naggy, grouchy, obessive-compulsive wife. Ultimately, the tip to maintaining our sanity as working Moms is to devote our time to what matters most. As a Mom and Wife, what brings us more joy than spending time with our husband and our little ones (while they’re still little and they still crave our time and attention). The time that we spend playing, singing, reading, snuggling, laughing, discovering new sights trumps any errands or chores in importance. If we’re feeling overwhelmed by our daily to-do lists and our children or husband wants to talk or cuddle, just take a deep breath, drop the tasks and enjoy their company. There will always be things that are urgent, but none as important as making memories that last. That pile of laundry or that heap of clothes can wait.

Her smiles make all sacrifices of being a Mom worthwhile…

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Do you have tips you’d like to share? If you have, link up here for this series of Tips for Moms – by Moms, and stay tuned for more tips from other Singapore Mom Bloggers!

Tomorrow, we have Amie who will share her 5 little tips to sanity for FTWM.

Check out the tips work-at-home-(super)mom Dominique shared with us yesterday!

Geraldine is a first time mother to X’mas eve baby Little Chuck, and wife to Big Daddy Chuck. She loves to take photos and documents her family’s adventures through her blog, where she pens her daily musings and frames favourite pictures of her family, food and fun!

Check out her 8 ways to simplify life for working parents!

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Working moms face the daily challenge of prioritizing our time. It is critical to manage our time properly because after devoting 40 hours a week to our jobs, we are only left with a little time to spend with our children!

My 10 month old baby’s main caregiver is my mom. Every morning, we bring Little Chuck to my mom’s place about 15 minutes drive away. In the evenings, we will have our meals together at my mom’s place before heading home together.

Other than spending time with my family, I have these things to get accomplished in the week as well: Do laundry, shop for groceries, run errands like paying bills and handling our family’s accounts, spend time with the husband, spend time with friends, blog, hit the gym, and maybe – just maybe – sneak in an hour to go for that well-deserved Javanese massage. No wonder they say motherhood is tiring!

Here are 8 ways we try to simplify our lives, hoping that whatever time we save means quality time to spend with our child.

(1) Stay close to your children’s caretakers

Whether you are putting your children at infant care or with the grandparents, it is best that travelling time to and fro is minimized. Spending hours on the jammed roads every morning before arriving at your office tired and weary is no fun!

Mornings are especially rough for many working moms. It is hard enough getting ourselves ready (I’m NOT a morning person), now I have to wake, feed, clothe, pack and transport a small human being in addition to myself!

So, I do as much as I can the night before. Set out clothes for the next day – for both myself and the baby, and make sure diaper bags and work bags are packed and ready to go.

(3) Create a bedtime ritual

I believe in making bedtime as pleasant as possible by putting my child in a quiet, relaxed mood. A warm bath, a bottle of milk, bedtime stories and tucking in can take place in a regular and consistent fashion. Little Chuck gets to bed in a timely fashion and that means more time for me.

(4) Don’t come home angry

We often return home with a big to-do list in our heads. Rushed and frantic, we walk through the door issuing orders and distributing criticism for what has not been done. Our babies can feel our frustration.

Our first priority when we see our baby after work is to enjoy some down-time, put aside work concerns, relax, chat and have fun together as a family!

(5) Avoid overscheduling yourself or your children

Parents need to learn to say no and to scheduling more than two extracurricular activities for their kids. Living a hectic, frantic life is no fun for parents or children. We want the best for our young ones. To enrich their world and give them a solid start. The pendulum can easily swing too far the wrong way.

(6) No parent is an island – delegate

One of the secrets to success as a working parent is learning how to delegate – to your partner or your family etc. When I am feeling overwhelmed or need to take a break from night duty, I ask for help from my hubby. Take a look at your to-do list, what do you need to do right now? What can you postpone, delegate or say “no” to?

(7) Plan to arrive everywhere 30 minutes early

The truth is, you’ll probably never arrive anywhere 30 minutes early, especially if you have kids. This mindset of arriving early will give you a much better shot at showing up where you are supposed to be on time.

Make arrangements for a date night. Ours happens every Friday when Little Chuck stays over at his grandma’s. We will check out a new restaurant or visit that old pub we used to frequent. If date nights are a challenge, then make it a point to give yourselves some down time to talk, laugh and preserve the relationship.

I hope these 8 strategies will help working moms simplify their lives. Find the extra time you need and deserve!

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Do you have tips you’d like to share? If you have, link up here for this series of Tips for Moms – by Moms, and stay tuned for more tips from other Singapore Mom Bloggers!

Tomorrow, we have Dominique who will share her tips on juggling a tight schedule as a work-at-home-mum.

Check out the tips work-from-home-mom Rachel shared with us yesterday!