I was just commenting to my hubby the other day that motherhood has changed me into a person that I don’t quite recognise – fortunately, it’s for the better though I must admit I can evolve into a she-hulk now and then when the buttons are pushed. I have always been the weakling and the scaredy cat, and sleep is the thing that I could never ever imagine doing without.
But of course, motherhood changed all that.
As a mum and main caregiver 24/7, there is no way that I can just declare that hey, y’know mum hasn’t slept all night (and for the past few nights) due to an allergic reaction, so you just take care of yourselves for the rest of the day while mum sleeps in, ok?
I imagine that happening in some alternate universe, but seriously, even if I’m ill, I still have to fulfil my motherly duties, and I’ve grown used to it. Motherhood has taught me that a woman can rise up to the occasion whenever she needs to.
That of course also means that my daughter has grown up watching me being that strong and brave mummy. She has lamented many a time that she wouldn’t want to have children like me in future because she will definitely cry when the doctor cuts her open to take the baby out. Pretty gross imagery there, but that’s her version of childbirth since both she and brother were delivered via c-sect. She never fails to ask if mummy cried when doctor cut me up and sewed me back and I reply with a ‘of course not’. So yup, I must be some sort of Xena warrior princess in her eyes.
All that kinda crumbled today when I went to see the TCM doctor with my girl today. I had been suffering from an unbearable itch from a food allergy and I felt that relying on antihistamines for a week was more than enough for me so I was going to go with any treatment that TCM offered. The doctor listened to my story and prescribed some medicine then proceeded to tell me that he would be giving me a treatment (放血)to release the toxins in my body. That involved pricking me and releasing some blood, literally.
I’ve always been afraid of injections and I’ve always cringed when it was time for any injections or tests involving being pricked by a needle. And that was when I looked my daughter in the eyes and asked, ‘Can you let me hold your hand?’
My daughter looked back at me and replied, matter-of-factly, ‘But I need my hand to play my game (on the phone) you know.’
‘But mummy’s scared.’
She thought for awhile and replied, ‘How about you hold onto my thigh? It’s the same right? You are still holding onto me. Then I can continue with my game and you won’t be scared.’
I settled with that of course. The doctor was trying very hard to contain his laughter and he failed, as you would expect. He was sniggering and probably wondering how this woman gave birth to two children.
Anyway, yes, so today we had a role reversal – and it was really quite amusing, sans the fact that I had to get pricked by the needle (on my ear!). I hope my daughter doesn’t remember what a coward mummy was… but perhaps this episode made her realise that mummy is but human after all. 🙂
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