5 lessons I’ve learnt (and re-learnt) after becoming a mum

Here are 5 interesting lessons I’ve learnt (and re-learnt) after becoming a mum because of what I’ve been through and what some others have put me through. But I must acknowledge that I was and probably am guilty of some of these too at some point but I’m still learning over time to become a better person!

#1 Don’t judge.

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Everyone has bad days and chances are that if you see a mom throwing a mummy tantrum in public, she must have had it real bad earlier. And if you see a skinny kid, don’t be quick to jump to the conclusion that the mum must be doing a bad job of the feeding, or perhaps the mum is a lousy cook. And just because someone else’s kid hasn’t started reading yet doesn’t mean that his mom is laidback and too lazy to make things happen. We’re all moms here so let’s stop the judging game and recognise that all kids are different, and all moms are different too. We all do what’s right within our knowledge and to the best of our abilities.

#2 If you have nothing good to say, keep quiet.

I can’t say enough of this! How often do you get people telling you negative things about your kid or your parenting skills when you or your kid have done nothing to deserve such treatment? I say, the next time you are about to pass a negative comment about someone, check if it’s really necessary to mention it, which brings us to the next point.

#3 Don’t ask unnecessary questions.

Unless you are extremely close friends, don’t ask probing questions that could cause potential unhappiness or stress. For instance, don’t ask the mom with three girls if she’s going to try for a boy, or the mom with an only child ‘so when’s the next one coming?’ (unless she already is obviously pregnant). Be sensitive.

#4ย Don’t give unsolicited advice.

When someone begins a conversation, do note that the person didn’t sign up for a parenting course with you. Unless you are asked for your opinion or advice, just offer a listening ear and nod politely at appropriate moments. Remember that your experience is merely based on your own children and all children are different so don’t assume that whatever works for your children would work for others.

#5 Shit happens (puke, too)

keep-calm-shit-happens-7And all moms know this. There are phenomenally bad days where anything and everything seems to go wrong. For instance, after a trying time out with my children the other day, I returned home with two whining and crying kids and had one of them puke all over the carpet (and in a cab too). Now seriously, if any of my neighbours heard me that day (and I’m sure they did), they would think I’m a terrible mom. So I’m hoping, just hoping, that they would live by point #1. ๐Ÿ™‚ Meanwhile, on days like that, remember to breathe in… and breathe out. Easier said than done though! ๐Ÿ™‚

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2 Responses to 5 lessons I’ve learnt (and re-learnt) after becoming a mum

  1. JJ Mummy says:

    Hi, I was blog walking and am really glad to came by here. I totally agreed on the 5 points here. Sometimes an insensitive remarks from others can really hurt our feelings unknowingly. Thus after becoming a mummy, I do understand that every mummy do have their bad days (I have gone through this before and can perfectly understand that kids can really drive us crazy), thus never to judge any mummy when I don’t know anything about them at all.

  2. Choon Yen says:

    Hi, I was blog walking and am really glad to came by here. I totally agreed on the 5 points here. Sometimes an insensitive remarks from others can really hurt our feelings unknowingly. Thus after becoming a mummy, I do understand that every mummy do have their bad days (I have gone through this before and can perfectly understand that kids can really drive us crazy), thus never to judge any mummy when I don’t know anything about them at all.

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