{Tips for Moms}: How to stay sane as a stay at home mom

We end the series {Tips for Moms -by Moms} today with my tips for how to stay sane as a stay at home mom. As a stay-home mom, my childcare arrangements are rather obvious – well, I’m their main caregiver of course (why else would I be a sahm if I’m not taking care of them, right?), and my girl goes to a 3-hour church kindergarten when it’s term time and I have both kids 24/7 with me at all other times.

So how do I keep myself going, staying sane and cheerful in these 4 years+ as a sahm?

#1 Remember that Family comes first

My hubby and I don’t like the idea of having a live-in helper and we’ve not needed to outsource for help so far, so we just chip in whatever we can when it comes to housework. It won’t kill anybody if the house doesn’t look like a showflat. And if I’m spending all day cleaning the house, I might as well be out working and drawing a salary and paying somebody else to do those chores.

And trust me, my kids’ room doesn’t look like this all the time – more often than not, there are stray toys on the floor (and those have a high chance of remaining there until I start tripping over them) and shhhh, actually, many of the items are mixed up within the boxes which I organise only every now and then.

And no, I don’t make it a point to cook every day. I cook for the kids every day, but not for us. Sure there are weeks when I feel all geared up to cook every day, but on days when I don’t feel like cooking, I don’t, simply because for me, cooking for my family should be a pleasure so I make sure it doesn’t become a chore.

#2 Be content – thrift is a virtue

Being a stay-home mom means that we’ve gotta learn to live on only one income. My being able to be a stay-home mom doesn’t necessarily mean that my husband is drawing a fat salary – it just means we learn to live within our means. No more impulsive buys and we learn to prioritise our needs.

#3 ‘Work’ smart

Yes, even as a stay-home mom, the idea of working smart still applies. 🙂

I multi-task a lot – I’ll set the clothes to wash in the washing machine as the first chore since it requires no further attention until it’s done, do random chores like fold clothes or set the soup to boil while feeding the kids, plan a menu where food can be cooked simultaneously via different cooking methods (steam, fry, bake – e.g. steamed tofu with minced pork, stir-fried vegetables, baked chicken wings) to maximise the amount of work done in the kitchen in the shortest time. With two young kids with me all the time, it is not possible to be slaving over the stove for long periods of time.

Instead of cooking small amounts of stock every day to cook for the children, cook a big batch and freeze in small amounts that can last up to a week or save the remaining soup of the day – that can be used for cooking a couple of meals the next day or so. If I have no time to cook stock for cooking their porridge, I will throw in a piece of pork loin to cook together with the rice grains. And when I cook pasta sauce, I will also freeze some sauce for quick fixes for the kids on days they want to eat pasta.

Making sure that the house doesn’t become a dump too quickly, I’ll ensure that things are placed back in the same place as they were taken from so I have less to tidy. I also have a designated toy area in the hall so I only need to ensure that the toys get packed into that area at the end of the day to have the house looking neat again in a matter of a few minutes.

#4 Find a passion, stay sane

One of the greatest difficulties a stay-home mom faces is the monotony of life. If you are accustomed to meeting new challenges at the workplace, the sudden monotony of cleaning the house and the cute bum day in day out may be a real issue. After becoming mums, we need to realise that our lives are not only bound to that single role and while we try to live up to all the other roles we play in life as a wife, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister etc., we need to address our own needs as individuals.

When I first became a stay-home mom, I’d have to admit that my brain was somehow neglected. For me, I find that I can hardly let my brain be idle so I am always thinking about teaching ideas, new recipes and well now, I find that blogging allows me to put my brain to good use and also ties everything up together nicely. Whatever your passion is, you must find one to keep yourself together.

#5 Stay connected

Having a social life doesn’t mean that I have to physically meet up with other people. With two young children, I honestly don’t have much time or energy to drag them out to meet people. Besides, I can’t have fruitful conversation if I am constantly running after the two of them (my kids can’t stay still). The next best thing is to take my social life online. I’ve made wonderful friends from mummy forums when my firstborn was a baby and being mums, the support we give each other is precious. With Whatsapp and Facebook chats, it is also easy to connect with old friends.

It is also important to stay connected with your partner. For many of us stay-home moms, the husband is probably the only one we can hold adult conversations with, face-to-face, on a daily basis. Try not to talk only about the kids or be tempted to focus on that diaper which leaked or the Mickey Mouse T-shirt that got stained by pasta sauce. Have a proper adult conversation and ask how his day went 🙂

Last of all, remember to squeeze in some time to watch the news or read the papers or you will find yourself cut off from the world!

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I hope you have enjoyed this guest post series and found the tips useful! I’m sure you can identify with some of the Singapore mummy bloggers who have shared their stories and tips in the past two weeks. Thank you for reading and supporting this series and please feel free to let me know any other topics you’d like to read about!

Click here to return to the complete list of Singapore mummy bloggers who have shared in this series.